A rough week

This past week has been a rather difficult one. I thought it was going so well as Teddy slept for nearly 6 hours, woke up to feed and change, and then fell back asleep for another 3 and a half hours. This happened and I felt amazing the following day, but it all changed that night! 

Teddy has been struggling to get to sleep and hasn’t been sleeping very long when he has finally drifted off to the land of nod. I believe this is partly to do with colic. He suffers badly and cries all hours of the day (and night if he could), which is starting to take a toll on me. 

I’m exhausted all the time and because I’m exhausted, all I want to do is eat crap! In the past week I swear I have gained so much weight from where I’ve literally eaten my weight in chocolate and biscuits! The weight gain is taking a toll on how I feel about myself too. I was doing well with losing the pregnancy weight, but after gaining some back I hate how I feel about myself. None of my clothes fit and if they do, I don’t like how they look on me. It’s exactly how I felt towards the end of my pregnancy where I was swollen and uncomfortable. 

Because I’m feeling this way about myself, I had a bit of a breakdown and couldn’t stop crying as I just don’t like what I see in the mirror anymore. I knew I wasn’t going to bounce back to my pre pregnancy weight, but I would have thought that in the 7 weeks after having Teddy, I’d have a bit more progress than what I’ve actually achieved so far. This breakdown caused a vicious cycle where I would eat chocolate and biscuits, then have another breakdown because I’d eaten them, then hating myself and how I looked and eating more chocolate and biscuits because I’m feeling rubbish! 

On Saturday, I decided to change my habits. I started looking at ways to lose weight healthily while breastfeeding. This made me feel a little better but I was still feeling rubbish about how I looked in clothes I once loved! Sunday came around and I will admit I had a McDonald’s and loads of chocolate, as I decided to start my health kick today, so wanted to eat chocolate one last time before I disaplined myself. I also looked online for Spanx and ordered myself a pair to make me feel better about how I look in my clothes (which it has so far!)

I’ve now started the health kick and hope that I do start to lose weight as it’ll help me with my mental state. We also think we may have pinpointed a reason as to why he is constantly crying. Teddy is slightly tongue-tied but has never seemed like he’s struggled to latch, however I’ve started to notice that even though he can feed anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour, he doesn’t seem to be getting a lot of milk. This makes me think that maybe his tongue-tie is restricting his eating so he is hungry. We gave him a bottle after he was at the boob for 10 minutes, and he gulped it down! I also fed him just before I started writing this post and even though he fell asleep at the boob, he woke up 15 minutes later screaming, so I gave him another bottle which he gulped down and now he’s fast asleep in my arms. 

My poor baby is hungry! I feel awful as he’s just hungry even after feeding for half an hour at the boob. I’ve decided I’m going to breastfeed, but offer a bottle after each feed as he may still be hungry. I have the health visitor coming in Wednesday and we’re going to the doctors after to finish registering so I will ask both of them what I can do to sort his tongue-tie out and what I can do to increase my supply as I’d love to breastfeed for as long as possible. I will keep you updated with what the health visitor and doctor say. 

If anyone has any suggestions how to increase breast milk supply, please leave a comment here or feel free to comment/inbox me on Instagram- mamaandbabylife. 

S & T
Xx

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